The Lack of Awareness around Female Groomers in Hollywood

In today’s newsletter, I speak about how society dismisses the conversation when it comes to groomers that happen to be women, and why we need to rectify that.

As a society, we’ve had to sit with the unfortunate and uncomfortable fact that children, teenagers, and young adults are in relationships with people we don’t expect or think is even minutely correct when it comes to morality.

Men and women alike prey on children, teens, and young adults, but a lot of the time most cases are swept under the rug. Many men in the industry are known for doing that sort of thing, but they ultimately aren’t stopped, they simply get a slap on the wrist for it. Many women do too, but it’s not a conversation we have often; although I feel as if we should.

So that’s what today’s newsletter is about. It’s how inappropriate relationships orchestrated by women are overlooked in society, and why I believe we need to change that.

Before I begin, I want to say a little bit about the term ‘grooming.’

People use the term rather loosely and in most cases, I think it fits; however people define it in their own way, so I’ll explain the consensus of what it actually is.

Grooming by definition is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with someone so they can manipulate, exploit and/or abuse them.

The definition strikes true, and is pretty clear cut; however people like to take it literally when it comes to calling out certain behavior.

And by taking it literally, I mean that if something doesn’t fit that definition word for word, they don’t believe it to be grooming or inappropriate, and that just isn’t true.

People like to think because an inappropriate relationship didn’t end with obvious abuse, that it somehow translates to the fact grooming didn’t happen. That just isn’t the case.

That leads us to our first example today.

As most of my followers know, I like Taylor Swift, but I also believe a lot of her criticism is fair. Today’s instance is something I don’t condone at all, and was recently informed about it. I knew of her short lived relationship with Conor Kennedy, but I never knew to the extent that it went, and how many of her fans like to act as if it didn’t happen. They also use the excuse that I mentioned above, that because it didn’t end in a harsh or abusive way, means it wasn’t grooming, and I can’t agree there.

Taylor Swift, before the Red era truly began, was incredibly interested in the supposed Kennedy dynasty. She’d become friends with the family, and in turn they believed her to be an absolute gem, a true star, so she’d begun being in their presence more often than not.

I’ll spare you the details of what they did together; because it’s not worth mentioning honestly, but she’d taken a liking to Patrick Schwarzenegger. The likeness was short lived since he couldn’t be present for too long considering he was a dedicated actor, and went to work on movies, but his cousin, Conor Kennedy, was who her eyes laid on next. They were papped together, holding hands a day or two after he’d turned eighteen.

The family spoke highly of the relationship, saying that Taylor would be a “real shoulder to cry on” considering Conor’s mother had hung herself in their family estate not too long before Conor turned eighteen. He was going through a tough time, was ultimately very vulnerable, and found solace in spending time with Taylor.

They loved her. They said they thought she was awesome, and a good fit for Conor himself and the family.

(Pictured above: Taylor and Conor together).

Not long after, Taylor bought a home property right across the street from Conor and the Kennedy’s, for about five million dollars. Sources never explain why, but the decision was made after Conor and her grew closer.

(Pictured above: Taylor’s property and it’s proximity to the Kennedy property).

It was said they’d fallen head over heels for each other rather quickly, and even said ‘I love you’ over the summer they were together. His family spoke highly about the fact that even though they parted, Taylor missed Conor so much that she sent her own private plane to pick him up for a few days, and that they never knew when he’d be back, just that they were glad he had her to help him out.

Everything was happy go lucky until Taylor reportedly crashed a wedding she wasn’t invited to. Conor had been invited, but he never RSVPed, and the relative in question didn’t want the pop star present bringing too much attention to her gathering of a romantic ceremony. She said ‘they texted me an hour before and asked if they could come’ to which she responded saying, ‘Please do not come.’

They showed up anyway.

When they were asked to leave, the relative said, ‘It was like talking to a ghost. She seemed to look right past me’ in regards to Taylor crashing the event. After the standoff, they left and returned for the reception. The family felt as if they didn’t know what to do, or what to say.

After a bit more time together and ultimately not much else, Taylor began promoting her newest album, Red. School was back in session so the high school senior, Conor Kennedy, parted ways with her, and his family said there were no hard feelings, just distance, and that Conor was fine.

Many people like to justify this relationship because of the age difference being four years, but I still find it quite odd.

If when you break up with your significant other as a grown woman, and they’re going back to high school once it’s over, that’s not okay.

The circumstances of the relationship were odd too. He’d been grieving over his mother committing suicide right before he turned eighteen, Taylor swoops in and the family supports it because he supposedly needs a shoulder to cry on. Spending all this time with the boy alone, sending jets to pick him up, and his family doesn’t even know when he’ll be back, but they trusted her because she was friends with them. It’s just very odd to me, and I can’t imagine why people defend it.

I believe that if you’re at the age where you could technically be a college graduate, you should not be romantically involved with someone in high school.

Taylor also dated Taylor Lautner when he was seventeen and she was twenty before the Kennedy situation occurred. After the Kennedy situation, she’d dated Harry Styles when she was around twenty two or twenty three and he was eighteen.

She’d spoke about how two of her exes dated her with age gaps and how they manipulated her, and I think she believed those relationships to only be negative or wrong because they wronged her; whereas when she was the older one, she loved the person, and treated them right, so it was okay.

Neither situation is okay, in my opinion, but let’s move on to the next person in question.

Sydney Chandler isn’t someone that was on my radar until early this week. I’d seen a photo of her and Louis Partridge together.

At first glance, I didn’t think anything of it, until I remembered how I thought I had a chance with him because we were around the same age, and I could tell she was relatively older than him, so I looked into it.

(Pictured above: Sydney Chandler and Louis Partridge).

Sydney Chandler is twenty six years old and Louis Partridge is nineteen years old.

They knew and met each other when she was twenty four and he was sixteen.

She’d became friends with him and supposedly encouraged him to break up with his former girlfriend. When he was seventeen and she was twenty four years old, she’d started making the habit of calling him baby, and kiddo.

(Pictured above: Sydney Chandler calling her future boyfriend a beautiful kid).

Around the time he was eighteen and she was twenty five, she’d taken him and few other friends out for drinks. Their relationship isn’t highly talked about, nor do people even know they’re together, but Louis posted about it one day on his social media.

He said that he saw people calling her names and saying he needs to be protected, but he could assure he was okay, and that he loved Sydney. Also that he couldn’t stand by and watch people talk about her like that.

I hope at some point he becomes free of her, because he’s being taken advantage of, and doesn’t even see the problem with it.

Onto our last person…and she’s someone I truly despise, and definitely was not going to go unscathed.

Sam Taylor-Johnson.

You can’t talk about female groomers without bringing her up. She’s so disgusting, it physically pains me to think about it.

Sam Taylor-Johnson is fifty five years old, and I’d like for you to guess at how old her husband is.

I’d be willing to bet money that you’re wrong.

Aaron Taylor-Johnson is thirty two years old, and is married to Sam Taylor-Johnson.

That’s a twenty three year age gap.

Twenty three years.

And they’ve been together for a bit longer than a decade. They’ve got kids, a family, and Aaron even has her name tattooed on his chest near where his heart is.

News reports state he was nineteen years old when their relationship first began to blossom, and Sam was forty two. Sam was directing the film he was going to star in, but she’d chosen him for the role.

He was filming for his movie Kick-Ass at the time, so with scheduling issues, he had come to her house since it was the only day she was free. She’d just divorced her first husband, and was getting things together and whatnot. She said the minute she saw him, she just knew he was perfect for the role, and that it was his.

Everyone on set knew they had a special connection, but they apparently kept things very professional.

(Pictured above: An evil hag with a youthful boy, one that didn’t know where this relationship would take him).

Not too long after the movie was done, Aaron asked her to marry him, and of course she’d said yes. After this happened, they’d continued being together and had kids and made a family.

Aaron’s spoken up about it before, saying the attention to their relationship was intrusive and unnecessary. Considering he dealt with it early in his career, he could now say ‘Fuck it’ when people asked him questions that he didn’t like.

I don’t know if he realizes that people asked him questions about it in his early life and career because she’d basically gotten with him when he was truly beginning in his career. I wish he knew, but I don’t think he’ll ever leave her because he trusts her, and he loves her.

Sam says he has an ‘old soul,’ and that she feels safe and loved with him. She claims she found her soulmate when she never believed she would do that again.

People don’t realize that more goes into grooming than just age differences. Maturity is real, and at certain ages you’re definitely more mature than you are at others. Our brains literally aren’t done developing until our late twenties.

Personally, I don’t think I could be with someone with an age gap more than two or three years, and three is really pushing it.

I’m eighteen right now, and ultimately, I’m in a much different place mentally than I was when I was sixteen.

I couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with someone of that age regardless of it being two years. It makes me uncomfortable, and I don’t like the idea of it.

People think that they mature faster or are mature for their age, but it’s not true. No matter what, you’re still susceptible to manipulation or mistreatment, but because you don’t know any better, you think it’s love.

It’s not.

Some crave that love so badly that they don’t care who it comes from, they just want it. It starts as a fragile little flame, and in the end they get burned by it, whether they know it at first or not.

You never know you’re being taken advantage of until it’s over, and the healing process is hard to go through, but just know it’s never your fault. It truly isn’t, because you don’t choose to be taken advantage of, it just happens, and while it shouldn’t, it does.

Inappropriate relationships are something we need to talk about more. There shouldn’t be children being taken advantage of by adults right under our noses and we don’t say anything. It’s not fair to either party.

The older person gets away with it and continues to manipulate the younger person while the younger person is deeply and wrongly affected by it.

Trauma runs deep, so deep that the children themselves don’t know what they’re experiencing, and they’re coaxed into believing it’s okay. They’re groomed into believing everything is alright, and we need to make sure they know it isn’t. We need to do our best to protect those that aren’t being protected, especially when those close to them are encouraging these situations and monstrosities.

They abuse that power and so many of us let them in the blink of an eye because we’re not thinking about it, and we should.

It reminds me of how people joke about Leonardo DiCaprio and how he mysteriously breaks up with his girlfriends after they turn twenty five. As a society, I feel like we’ve grown complacent to these situations sometimes. Even though there’s not much we can do with peoples’ personal lives, these conversations should still be had.

Imagine what Aaron Taylor-Johnson could’ve been saved from had people around him protected him. Just imagine how many people could have prevented these types of relationships from happening if they knew more about it. These conversations could change so much, and they can be hard to talk about, but in the long run, it’s worth it.

I don’t have much else to say about the topic because it isn’t something I like speaking about, and that’s mainly because it reminds me of my own personal issues that I’ve yet to completely heal from, but I hope you found this informative.

It truly is something that needs more awareness.

That’s all for today folks!

This one meant a great deal to me.

Until next time!